Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
