He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
