she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
