Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
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Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
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Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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