Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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