I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
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Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
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It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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