I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
