Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize