the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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