Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
