My first STD was from a foam party
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
