was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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