apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
do herpes really smell.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
