Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
