The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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