I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
