I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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