does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
