i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
pray to the hookup gods
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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