I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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