Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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