the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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