Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
