Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
