Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
