plz talk dirty to me
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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