I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
