doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
