I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
