Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
