So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Randomize
