I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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