how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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