i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
