I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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