4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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