I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
