Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
