what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
