People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
