That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
