So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
