You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
