I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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