Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
