what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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