I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
