I look better un-naked...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
