the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
