apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize