i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
