Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
