You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
