shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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