Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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