Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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