It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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