Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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