Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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