i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
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Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
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A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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