Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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