tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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